SPRING BREAKERS [2012] movie review

June 27, 2013 · Print This Article

When SPRING BREAKERS [2012] first came out I really wanted to go see it, partly because it was made where I live, St. Petersburg, Florida. I am really glad I waited, but I really wish I had waited forever as it is one of the worst movies I have seen in recent times. Imagine a movie with no plot, that repeats lines of dialogue over and over and has the worst pacing possible. It is hard to imagine that the writer-director of this movie also wrote one of my all-time favorite movies (KIDS [1995]).

What makes this movie so empty is that there are no consequences whatsoever. This makes watching the movie like seeing someone’s dream. In a dream no one really gets hurt and you just woosh through random scenes. That is exactly what watching this movie feels like. The use of super slo-mo only adds to the dream-like feel, and none of this is a good thing.

The movie opens with a hardcore beach party scene, the likes of which I have never seen here in Florida, how could I miss a row of topless girls having alcohol rained down on them in broad daylight?? This never happens at Sunset Beach or Ft. Desoto Dog Beach! Cut to some dreary college campus and four girls are the last ones stuck in the dorms because everyone else is out on spring break (yawl). They do not have enough money to get to Florida, but they like, really, want to go so they rob a diner and boom, off to Florida by bus. I guess they did not steal enough for plane tickets.

Dozens of people are partying in a hotel room, and for some reason this particular room gets busted by the cops and the girls are arrested. We have no idea why or how, fortunately for them the cops put them all in the same holding room alone to curl up in blankets. No clothes though, they remain in their bikinis even when being brought in front of a judge.

Enter James Franco as Alien, a crazy over the top gangster who bails them out then they just hangout, though one of the girls wises up real quick and heads home. The other three are going all in. All in for what, who knows, I guess just hanging out drinking and waving guns around in plain sight of many of Alien’s neighbors who tolerate him shooting and playing the piano at sunset.

Alien has a rival who taught him everything he knows, this is as complex as the story gets. He wants revenge. I was trying to think really hard how this movie could possibly end, and how I would possibly want it to end. I could come up with nothing as none of the characters are likable. There was no one or no thing to root for. The ending, not surprisingly, is preposterous and ambiguous.

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