I HEART HUCKABEES [2004] movie review

May 19, 2013

I HEART HUCKABEES [2004] was one of only about four movies I have ever thought about stopping watching within the first few minutes of it. Really from the opening words of this foolish movie I almost switched it off! I stuck with it, not really saying I watched it properly as I let myself be distracted by other things. The first act is brutal to get through. The end is a tiny bit funny. Unless you are in the mood for absolute absurdity, this movie should be avoided. [Read more]

AMOUR [2012] movie review

February 14, 2013

I almost never include spoilers in my movie reviews, but this time for the French movie AMOUR [2012] that was beyond my fathomability nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars, I have to. I have to because I have to stress why you should absolutely not waste your time watching this abomination of a movie. [Read more]

GOD BLESS AMERICA [2011] movie review

November 30, 2012

I found it hard to allow myself to like GOD BLESS AMERICA for the same reasons the movies points out why so much of today’s society should not like shameless pop entertainment, as the movie seemed to be just more of it rather than a truly biting satire of it.

First, it is an extremely poor choice in title. Second, the gore in the movie is totally unnecessary and just no reason for it at all. The premise sounded interesting, but I was afraid it would be too easy to mine, and it was: a middle aged man is fet up with how trashy and shameless society has become and once he is diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor he cracks and simply just shoots anyone who has no common decency. He starts by shooting an ultra-spoiled 16-year old high school girl who is the star of her own reality show. Done in a darkly satirical way this could make a statement of some sorts, but how it was on screen was kind of vulgarly murderous.

One of the girl’s classmates witnesses this and insists on tagging along with him as they soon plan to kill more people. A better movie would never have brought up the possible romantic situation between the middle aged man and teen girl companion so explicitly and suddenly. It was another awkward scene. I felt bad for Tara Lynne Barr having to act that scene.

There are a few plot twists of a sorts and the movie periodically tries to evoke emotion and sympathy in the viewer, but when the movie itself is as crass as the things it is raging against, it all ends up feeling like something I probably should not have watched, as it taught me nothing new and I already have a perfect record of never watching any of the trash TV of the past decade, nor having personal conversations in public on a cell phone, etc., etc.

IMMORTALS [2011] movie review

January 20, 2012

Not until about thirty seconds into the credits does the viewer realize the they just wasted nearly two hours of their life watching IMMORTALS. There is so much stylized fighting and high contrast scenery that one is fooled into thinking they are in fact watching a movie worth watching. Eventually, you realize that the story is incredibly generic, the screenplay could have been written in an hour and no character evokes any emotion. [Read more]

I SAW THE DEVIL [2010] movie review

January 11, 2012

I took a risk watching I SAW THE DEVIL and although I do not entirely regret it, there really is no reason to see a movie like this.  Right from the opening scenes I thought, “I am going to turn this off.”  Why would I think that?  Because I have no need to see people graphically tortured on screen, and I have no stomach for gore of any kind, never mind this kind.  Not that I would know, but this is not like one of those torture based movies that are the new kind of popular horror now.  It is still mostly a hardcore thriller, just the violence the characters do to each other strays into torture with gore.

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FORT APACHE [1948] movie review

December 31, 2011

I chose to watch FORT APACHE next in my ongoing classic western marathon on the advice of a trusted movie buff friend who said he liked this movie even better than THE MAN WHO KILLED LIBERTY VALANCE. I thought the latter was one of the best westerns I had ever seen, and the former not just one of the worst westerns, one of the worst movies of any genre I have ever seen.

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MONSTERS [2010] review

March 6, 2011

I wish I could now be recommending to you a great very low budget, sci-fi thriller, but I cannot do that for MONSTERS.  I thought Netflix might have really discovered a hidden gem of a movie for me, something like a much lower budget but nonetheless interesting DISTRICT 9.  Starting with the title being very lazily and inappropriately applied, such criticisms can trickle down all the way to the screenplay, characters and pacing.

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THE JEWEL OF THE NILE [1985] review

March 4, 2011

I would say that in 2011 it is no longer possible to release a silly romantic adventure movie, thus THE JEWEL OF THE NILE is more certainly a product only the 80s could produce. While old memories of the first move in the series, ROMANCING THE STONE, lingered in my head for decades finally prompting me to revisit it in late 2009, I am fairly certain that come 2030 I will have no such lingering desires to revisit NILE. This time there is absolutely no story and the traps the characters find themselves in are escaped in ludicrous ease, just breezing past the important things like how they did it, etc.

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